


matters of utmost importance

by orphan_account



Series: Bowerstuck AU [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU-Typical Homophobia, Heteronormativity, Pesterlog, bowerstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-20
Updated: 2015-11-20
Packaged: 2018-04-28 10:21:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5086870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Heir and the Seer discuss issues of vital importance; namely, gossip from the local newsrag. Alternatively: John is a nosy ass and Rose deflects.<br/>Second installment of my Bowerstuck AU. For this one to make sense you might want to read the first one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	matters of utmost importance

**Author's Note:**

> Second installment in my Bowerstuck AU! This isn't _great_ but it's sat in my drafts for a while, and it's only my third fanfic and my first pesterlog. I'm still trying to figure the characters out.  
>  Also, formatting is terrible.

\--ectoBiologist [EG]  began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 9:52--

EG: rose!  
EG: hey rose!  
EG: rooooose.  
EG: c'mon, i know you're online.  
TT: You have reached Rose Lalonde's voicemail.  
TT: To leave a message, press one.  
EG: rose.  
TT: To consult her detailed and impressive mental database of psychology, press two.  
EG: oh my god.  
EG: rose.  
EG: i have important news!!  
TT: Well, when you put it that way, a lady can hardly refuse.  
TT: Please, John.  
TT: Feel free to elaborate on this news at any time.  
EG: you're in the paper!  
TT: Is that all?  
TT: That hardly seems like news.  
EG: bluh whatever, miss ego mcego.  
EG: but not that paper!  
EG: you're in that one gossip rag.  
TT: Naturally.  
TT: If I may enquire, what did the dear little heiress do to attract the vultures this time?  
EG: rose, don't take this the wrong way...  
EG: but i have a hard time thinking of you as the dear little anything.  
EG: ...anyway.  
EG: apparently there was a troll at the party who was checking you out.  
EG: and...someone caught you winking at her.  
EG: which is  
EG: and i quote  
EG: "evidence of the girl's scandalously deviant homosexual nature."  
EG: rose...  
EG: is there something you're not telling me?  
TT: Very well. You caught me, John.  
TT: I am a deviant homosexual.  
EG: pfft.  
EG: okay, that was a pretty good one.  
EG: but i didn't mean about that!  
EG: who was the troll girl? did you know her?  
TT: Not personally.  
TT: It appears that her name is Kanaya Maryam, an up-and-coming fashion designer.  
TT: She made the dress that Jade wore at the party, actually.  
EG: oh?  
EG: and how did you find this out?  
TT: I asked around.  
EG: sounds like someone's taken an interest :B  
TT: Hardly. I simply wish to know more about the people in this area.  
TT: Is curiosity unhealthy, John?  
TT: Besides, I should learn about my subjects. I am the Heiress Apparent, after all.  
TT: I must walk among them and learn the ways of the common peons.  
TT: Such is my duty.  
EG: bluh you're so weird!!  
EG: and anyway you're deflecting  
EG: why did you ask around about her specifically?  
TT: John, your nosiness is unbecoming of an Heir.  
TT: I simply wish to be knowledgeable about "the scene" of our fellow lords and ladies, after all.  
TT: There is nothing more to the story.  
EG: or is there??? :D  
TT: There isn't.  
EG: there totally is  
TT: Why are you so insistent upon coercing me into revealing information that doesn't exist, John?  
TT: Are you attempting to conceal an interest of your own?  
TT: Who do you possess a romantic leaning towards, hmm?  
TT: Maybe another male, based on your own insistence that I have feelings for a girl I've never spoken with.  
TT: Or maybe your distressing determination comes from another source.  
TT: A lack of a social life of your own, perhaps?  
EG: fine, fine, i'll stop bothering you about this  
TT: Why, John. Whoever said you were bothering me?  
EG: yeah yeah  
EG: i have to go. i have things to do but i'll talk to you later rose!  
TT: Farewell, John.  
EG: :)

\--ectoBiologist [EG]  ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 10:15--

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't figure out how to fit this in without messing with the flow of the conversation, but Rose is bisexual and John is aware. He just wants to needle her about having a crush. John is also bi and a little bit in denial.  
> Bi-nial? De-bi-al? I can't quite make that a pun.
> 
> Ask blog located [here](http://bowerstuck.tumblr.com).


End file.
